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Social Media Marketing Is Like Dating

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After my divorce, I got lots of advice from single friends on dating.  I was pretty clueless.  I learned that waitresses weren’t really that into me (they were just being nice), and not all women are into video games.  They also didn’t seem to care about SEO.  Hmm…

But one friendly lesson stuck with me.  ”When in a club, don’t look too eager.  Women notice that!”  This hit me – not because I was necessarily being one of those Night At The Roxbury guys, but I realized I did notice it when I was out; single guys craning their necks to target every woman.  Like throwing a flurry of darts with reckless abandon.

Many businesses who get into social media remind me of this.  It’s a sea of people, and instead of learning to speak the language, make friends, and nurture relationships, they start aggressively firing shots at potential closers.  When they don’t convert, they blame the night club (platform), or the girls (customers).  It’s too frantic.  In online social marketing, your customers expect you to engage with them.  They know when you’re desperate.  They see businesses do it all the time – the only rookies in the social media space are the businesses still going for instant gratification.

Unfortunately, bad pick up lines with your customers are just as bad, if not worse.  They destroy your chances and put you in a much worse light.  Cheap engagement tactics and sloppy execution without sizzle and value make businesses look even more desperate, and turn a flat “no” on the dance floor to blatant giggling and pointing.  Put some thought into what you should really do when taking your chances.

I had to learn to shape my conversations to my new audience (and not talk about video games).  Businesses need to do the same.  Forget a conversion rate if you can’t do this.



    Comments

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    1. Kawika
      June 27, 2010

      Thanks for the advice – it seems too many companies rush into the social-media sphere, and bombard their followers with promotional messages. The new social media sphere is all about relationships, and it takes real work to develop those relationships. Thanks for posting!

      Reply


    2. Kawika
      June 27, 2010

      Thanks for the advice – it seems too many companies rush into the social-media sphere, and bombard their followers with promotional messages. The new social media sphere is all about relationships, and it takes real work to develop those relationships. Thanks for posting!

      Reply


    3. John
      July 3, 2010

      This is a vivid metaphor. Described the essence of social media marketing.
      .-= John´s last blog ..Washington Redskins92 Albert Haynesworth-NFL jerseys =-.

      Reply


    4. John
      July 3, 2010

      This is a vivid metaphor. Described the essence of social media marketing.
      .-= John´s last blog ..Washington Redskins92 Albert Haynesworth-NFL jerseys =-.

      Reply


    5. Steve
      July 6, 2010

      hey Bill,
      I would agree with your premise that social media marketing is a lot like dating. Maybe that’s why I’m not crazy about social media… because in general I hated dating and am happy I am married and that the dating is behind me. ;)
      The key to “successful” dating is the same as successful marketing. Do more listening than talking, get to know the person and focus on them and not yourself, and don’t be too pushy. But just like with dating, I think most “social marketers” don’t get it, and are more like the Roxbury guys. :)
      Good post. Steve

      Reply


    6. Steve
      July 6, 2010

      hey Bill,
      I would agree with your premise that social media marketing is a lot like dating. Maybe that’s why I’m not crazy about social media… because in general I hated dating and am happy I am married and that the dating is behind me. ;)
      The key to “successful” dating is the same as successful marketing. Do more listening than talking, get to know the person and focus on them and not yourself, and don’t be too pushy. But just like with dating, I think most “social marketers” don’t get it, and are more like the Roxbury guys. :)
      Good post. Steve

      Reply